How to “Fix My Relationship” with a Simple Exercise
Getting the good gets you back on track.
If you're asking yourself, "How can I fix my relationship?", or "How can I improve intimacy and connection in my marriage?", try this simple exercise. Positive attention along with a good solid strategy for sustainability can get you there. They can prevent your relationship from ending up as another divorce statistic.
The honeymoon stage is the first stage of relationship. Feel good chemicals (dopamine and serotonin) are flowing freely in the brain. Unfortunately, this stage doesn’t last forever (usually about 1 to 3 years). After that, it's not uncommon for couples to get caught in a downward spiral that is difficult to recover from.
A simple practice a couple can put in place to prevent a downward spiral is expressing acknowledgment and appreciation on a daily basis. Here’s how this simple practice of “Getting the Good” works.
At the end of the day take a bit of time to reflect on your relationship / marriage / life. Come up with one thing you like about you two as a team. It can be anything from the fun time you had together two years ago in Mexico to how easily you made a joint decision about which house paint to buy to how you like to feel the heat of the other person’s body at night in bed. It can be anything, as long as it’s something you like and genuinely appreciate. Then, you share what you appreciate with your partner. This is a very important step of the exercise and must not be skipped as the practice won’t make a difference if not shared through speaking.
Once you’ve shared, you repeat the process, with the focus now being on one thing you appreciate about your partner. Do both of these exercises consistently for 7 days and let us know how it goes. It’s remarkable how public appreciation can shift your attitude toward your relationship and your partner. You will find yourself asking, "How can I fix my relationship?" much less, if ever.
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