In my work with couples women often complain that their husbands don’t listen to them and because of this, those same women come to the conclusion that “he doesn’t care”. Yet when I talk to their men, the men tell me they DO care. So what’s really going on here?
As a man listens to a woman vent or complain, if he thinks he can’t do anything to fix the situation for her he will tend to tune her out. There’s no point in women getting angry about this. My best advice is for women is to understand what’s really going on, rather than getting angry.
The advice to men here is that even though you can’t “fix it” or do anything about what it is that she is complaining or venting about – this is not your cue to tune out. When you tune her out, she will most certainly think you don’t care. Just because whatever it is she is talking about is out of your hands and you can’t fix anything for her doesn’t mean that you can’t be of service to her in this type of a conversation.
What’s going on for her is that she just wants you to be present and hear what her experience is. She’s actually not looking for you to do anything other than “get” what she said.
Watch the video here: